Higher Places
by Saint Marianne
Summary: "I had everything... A thriving kingdom, amazing friends, a wonderful family, a beautiful man that loved me and our children but I threw that all away the night I killed my husband."
1. Mother's Journal

My world was broken and war-torn. There was nothing left, but then I met someone.

I sat down by the lake now polluted with debris, chemicals and oil. I remembered how it looked before. I felt a surge of emotions, I was more alone at that moment than I had ever been before, until he put his hand on my shoulder then sat down next to me. He ran his fingers through my hair and smiled. I knew he had claws, I saw them but I didn't feel them. I didn't know how to react, especially when he touched the cut on my forehead and licked it. It was weird, but it healed. Suddenly he stood up. "I have an offer for you, I can take you away from here, you'll have a better life, or I could leave you." When he reached for my hand my first instinct was to pull away. He leaned over and whispered, "Don't be afraid." He was gentle, holding my hand which looked like a child's compared to his. I asked what I'd have to do in return, he said I was a smart girl and that I would _have_ _to_ marry him. He was greater than any man I had ever known; inhumanly fast, stronger than twenty men. He was young with long, shaggy black hair and cold features. He was very manipulative and I was seventeen. We built a home. We built a family and eventually a kingdom.

I woke up my three children one night. Two beautiful girls, one with red hair and one with black, and a son about two years of age, with shaggy raven hair. I told them to pack their things, I told them that we would leave soon. They didn't bother asking why, just did as I told them. It wasn't an accident, it wasn't self defense, it wasn't for the money or the throne, or for revenge or anyone to be exact. It was for pleasure, simply because at the time I wanted to. When i thought of killing him two years ago i wasn't thinking about God, or if he really exists. I wasn't thinking what kind of god would allow me to feel so much at one time. I wasn't thinking about my family or my so called friends. And hell i wasn't thinking of myself either. I was thinking about how scary it must be to die. I don't know what I did but whatever it was, it worked. The vortex ripped him apart. His screams could be heard from outside the castle walls. I cried, watching from a distance. Then the vortex was gone, and it took Hunson with it. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I still don't know where it took him, the love of my life. I finally had complete control, not that I wanted it. That night the kingdom mourned and within a week the kingdom fell. I wrote a note for my daughter, to be a good, safe and right in the eyes of God. Now that I think about it, I don't think I spelled god right, I was rushing. I picked up my son and carried him in my arms, grabbed my daughter's hand and left their sister behind. I prayed that she would forgive me and they would take care of her. Even as I heard the sour laughter of the hideous prince I still prayed that he wouldn't harm her. My brave princess. We camped out miles from the kingdom. We sang songs and played games, anything to keep them entertained. I didn't dare close my eyes, lying awake while they slept in fear that thieves or killers would take them. I was exhausted. A night later I saw the armored men with their torches blazing ran through the forest. The Prince's men were searching for us. Again I had to leave.

We came across a beautiful field where I met a woman a few years younger than I. She belonged to a tribe that planned to go underground. She was incredibly tall, with short blonde hair and a pregnant belly. I sat around the fire with my children close by my side. We were all dirty, and homeless, but they sang hymns like everything was perfect. The people came to life, almost instantly, beating their drums. It was a cryptic noise that filled the air. One. Two. One. two. Three. One. Two. One. Two. Three. This girl, she was so lively. In the midst of all this destruction and death she still had faith. It amazed me. She took a lowly old man by the hands and danced with him. Her feet fluttered across the floor, her heels barely touching the cold damp ground. She clapped and cried with a voice like an angel. After the songs she sat down with me. She spoke about her husband and how he fought in the war; her father's dream about his great, to the tenth power, grandson being a lion. She says he's going to be a hero. That's just what the world needs. She sang the last few verses of the song again, "_Now to the Lord sing praises __All you within this place __And with true love and brotherhood __Each other now embrace __This holy tide of Christmas __All others doth deface," _then was called away by the elders.

My son started to stir and I quickly grabbed him, cradling him in my arms. I sang to him while he sobbed.

"_The other night dear, as I lay sleeping_

_I dreamed I held you in my arms_

_But when I awoke dear, I was mistaken_

_And I hung my head and cried_

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are gray_

_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_

_So please don't take my sunshine away" _

As I held him I thought of my sweet princess that I abandoned, such a soft round face.


	2. The Left Behind Princess

I got to the draw bridge and saw mommy running away, her head down dragging Marcy. I tried running after her, calling her, but she didn't wait for me. She didn't even look back at me and the soldiers were getting closer.

I ran back into the castle, up the stairs down the hall and into my brother's room. I tripped over a toy car and fell, I wasn't just slower than my brother and sister I was clumsier too. Mommy said I was different than them, I was like her; and that was okay. I crawled into his closet. My heart was racing so fast I thought it would burst. The footsteps got closer. I poked my head out and saw the Prince disappear around the corner. The crow chattering on his shoulder, it's telling him where i'm hiding, I know it! He walked heavy, like a horse. I can feel him walking on the floor. If he tries to kill me I'll kick him between the legs, thats what daddy said to do if a guy ever touches me without consent. Oh he's gonna find me! I don't wanna die! I watched him throw all my brothers toys on the floor. All his blankets, the matress. He picked up the bed with one hand then tossed it aside like it was nothing. Where's my mommy? Why isn't she rescuing me? Where's daddy? Who is crying? Oh wait it's me.

"Princess, where are you?" I heard him say. I saw my blanket folded away under the music box, maybe I can hide under it. I tried to reach my blanket without making noise but my hand slipped. The music box flung open and sang a stupid song. I saw a shadow from under the closet door. He found me. I hugged my scraped up knees and pretended I was invisable. The closet door rattled. He opened it really slow. This is it, it's over I'm done for! "Now princess, pick up your head your tiara is falling." I looked up in amzement, he was so handsome, just like daddy. He picked me up and hugged me, boy, this was weird.

He carried me out of my brother's room and took me to the throne room. A beautiful woman was sitting in mommy's chair. He tried handing me over to her but I grabbed onto his shirt tight. I don't want to go with her.

"It's okay," she says, "it's alright."  
He pulled my hands off of him and dropped me on the floor. He pushed me softly, but i wrapped my arms around his leg. He bent over and warned me.

"This kind of behavior is frowned upon, now unless you want a whipping I suggest you go walk over to your new queen." I nodded my head a went to her slowly. She was all dressed up in purple and wore a golden crown on her head. I curtsied for her then looked down at my feet. To my surprise she picked me up and sat me down on her lap.

"What lovely red hair you have." She said smiling. She was very pretty. Her eyes were like the willow trees and she had black shinny hair like Marcy. "How old are you dear?" She asked. When i didn't answer I heard one of the guards ask if I was dumb.

I held up five fingers and said, "five summers old. My birthday is in June, the eighteenth."

"How wonderful!" She replied. "What is your name?"

"Bettie," I said.

"Then your new name will be Bonnibel." The queen said proudly. I looked back at the prince and smiled.

Then he asked me, "how long would I want to live?" I shrugged my shoulders, I didn't know.

"How about forever?" She said. I nodded my head and said yes. They took my old silver tiara and gave me a new one, a gold one with a blue jewel. I placed it on my head. The guards and people cheered long live the princess.

"Tomorrow you will live for ever." The queen said. "And I will be your new mother."


End file.
